I was called a bitch for most of my life.
Wow, I feel a lot better that I said that.
Despite that...On Twitter I have come to have a reputation for being this super kind person. To be honest, I don't understand it. (o_O)
I've been doing things on the internet for a very long time. For those people who play computer FPS's do you know Red Faction?
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| Credit; Voilition, Inc. & Wikipedia |
It's similar to the Call of Duty of today, sans the real looking characters, complicated controls, and ten year old little boys who talk smack about 'your mom' or 'being gay'.
I played back in middle school, a time when nobody believed I was a girl on the internet. Literally, nobody believed me and I enjoyed it that way. It was my own little world that I was good at.
I also used to make YouTube videos doing goth make-up. I even got quite a few views on one of them--these days I wonder what would've happened if I had kept at it, but as YouTube got more popular and ads started happening, everything changed and I couldn't make those fancy edited videos people were making. Even to this day I really can't find the time or money to dedicate to so much editing. I really wish I enjoyed it enough but with my non-Mac computer and need to sleep at least eight hours a day--time will always be my weakness.
I also used to make YouTube videos doing goth make-up. I even got quite a few views on one of them--these days I wonder what would've happened if I had kept at it, but as YouTube got more popular and ads started happening, everything changed and I couldn't make those fancy edited videos people were making. Even to this day I really can't find the time or money to dedicate to so much editing. I really wish I enjoyed it enough but with my non-Mac computer and need to sleep at least eight hours a day--time will always be my weakness.
Don't get me wrong, I think people who dedicate so much to it are really great, admirable and everything--but I simply wouldn't have the discipline for it.
Anyway, I talk about this, because I have seen how people are on the internet for over ten years--and while that doesn't seem like much for my age, I've seen how people have acted on the internet all this time...
At first, putting yourself out there on YouTube wasn't a big deal--you didn't feel pressured about making the next biggest thing, most people who viewed made a comment, about 80% of the feedback was good, and well, ads weren't something people HAD to do (and then feel bad about doing).
My mom always told me never to say mean things, not that her sailor mouth was kept shut, but just don't say hurtful things that will get back to you--and as I have learned over the years--yes, it will get back to you, no matter how secret you thought it was.
On the internet I didn't ever say anything mean, just because I didn't see the point.
Why should someone I don't know, get hated on for something that it's not their fault.
I'm going to say something mean.
Most stupid people--don't know they're stupid, so essentially it's not their fault, they can't help it, so there's no point wasting your energy.
The opposite is true for mean people, they are mean, rude and knowingly do it--but I refuse to publicly give into your meanness and so--I won't.
In middle school and high school, I realized that my tiny, tiny size (150cm, a little less than 5ft) Could result in being picked on. So I instead made sure that I was blatantly honest with people about how I felt, and I tended to kick people in the shin who made fun of me. I thought honestly was necessary, and even though I was putting people's feelings at risk, I liked to say things like it is, because it's better than lying. I really stink at lying, like honestly, I am no good at lying to anyone--especially my mom...
For these reasons, I have been able to apply being a nice person to my internet Me for a while now. To be honest, I never really thought people would reply and see that I am honestly complimenting them. I just do it with the hopes that when other people need it they will say the same for them.
I love when people comment back, and tell me nice things, though I'm really terrible at taking compliments. So sometimes I don't start the back and forth because I realize that it's going to never end because I won't let them win and give me the final compliment.
I have come to love the internet for how much it has connected people. I have an instagram for people who enjoy pictures and for me who loves to show them. Yes I'm probably a narcissist, but I'm totally ok with that. I don't have a huge number of followers, but damn I feel good about the 150 I have at the moment. I have a twitter for saying random things that are short enough to fit into a micro blog, and can talk with people that I would have no other way of having gotten to know. My twitter friends are actual friends to me, whether they share the sentiment or not I wouldn't mind either way. I will compliment, and worry, and give uplifting words when they need them. I have a tumblr, well, I really only have it to find cute pictures on the internet, I'm not the biggest fan of what it has turned into these days, and my phone doesn't handle too many gifs very well so I don't really check it often enough...but, it's there.
I really just hope people stop being mean. The internet is a horrid place, and even despite my kindness, there have been times when it back fires...a shame really. I can't seem to understand why people feel the need to complain, on the internet, about things that have no affect on you. No offence, but as a woman, all we do is complain, and I totally understand that--but usually it's about things that directly affect us. But for those people, who randomly complain about things that now and will probably never have anything to do with them--what's the point of looking like a bitch on the internet?
I was called a bitch for kicking people in the shins and blatant honestly, it's a title I wore proudly because I was aware of what and why I did things. But why look like a jerk online, to a group of people or how they do things... Sorry, had to rant a bit.
My main point is this;
Spread kindness and it will be the best infection.
Anyway, I talk about this, because I have seen how people are on the internet for over ten years--and while that doesn't seem like much for my age, I've seen how people have acted on the internet all this time...
At first, putting yourself out there on YouTube wasn't a big deal--you didn't feel pressured about making the next biggest thing, most people who viewed made a comment, about 80% of the feedback was good, and well, ads weren't something people HAD to do (and then feel bad about doing).
My mom always told me never to say mean things, not that her sailor mouth was kept shut, but just don't say hurtful things that will get back to you--and as I have learned over the years--yes, it will get back to you, no matter how secret you thought it was.
On the internet I didn't ever say anything mean, just because I didn't see the point.
Why should someone I don't know, get hated on for something that it's not their fault.
I'm going to say something mean.
Most stupid people--don't know they're stupid, so essentially it's not their fault, they can't help it, so there's no point wasting your energy.
The opposite is true for mean people, they are mean, rude and knowingly do it--but I refuse to publicly give into your meanness and so--I won't.
In middle school and high school, I realized that my tiny, tiny size (150cm, a little less than 5ft) Could result in being picked on. So I instead made sure that I was blatantly honest with people about how I felt, and I tended to kick people in the shin who made fun of me. I thought honestly was necessary, and even though I was putting people's feelings at risk, I liked to say things like it is, because it's better than lying. I really stink at lying, like honestly, I am no good at lying to anyone--especially my mom...
For these reasons, I have been able to apply being a nice person to my internet Me for a while now. To be honest, I never really thought people would reply and see that I am honestly complimenting them. I just do it with the hopes that when other people need it they will say the same for them.
I love when people comment back, and tell me nice things, though I'm really terrible at taking compliments. So sometimes I don't start the back and forth because I realize that it's going to never end because I won't let them win and give me the final compliment.
I have come to love the internet for how much it has connected people. I have an instagram for people who enjoy pictures and for me who loves to show them. Yes I'm probably a narcissist, but I'm totally ok with that. I don't have a huge number of followers, but damn I feel good about the 150 I have at the moment. I have a twitter for saying random things that are short enough to fit into a micro blog, and can talk with people that I would have no other way of having gotten to know. My twitter friends are actual friends to me, whether they share the sentiment or not I wouldn't mind either way. I will compliment, and worry, and give uplifting words when they need them. I have a tumblr, well, I really only have it to find cute pictures on the internet, I'm not the biggest fan of what it has turned into these days, and my phone doesn't handle too many gifs very well so I don't really check it often enough...but, it's there.
I really just hope people stop being mean. The internet is a horrid place, and even despite my kindness, there have been times when it back fires...a shame really. I can't seem to understand why people feel the need to complain, on the internet, about things that have no affect on you. No offence, but as a woman, all we do is complain, and I totally understand that--but usually it's about things that directly affect us. But for those people, who randomly complain about things that now and will probably never have anything to do with them--what's the point of looking like a bitch on the internet?
I was called a bitch for kicking people in the shins and blatant honestly, it's a title I wore proudly because I was aware of what and why I did things. But why look like a jerk online, to a group of people or how they do things... Sorry, had to rant a bit.
My main point is this;
Spread kindness and it will be the best infection.
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